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Contadina Tomato Paste


 
 

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    (Taken directly from Stan Freberg's book "It Only Hurts When I Laugh" by Eric Hullquist )
     

    FREBERG: Now look, you got it straight what we want you to do?
    MAN: I think so, uhh, you want me to take down the tower from on top of the Empire State Building here and put up a three-hundred-foot can of Contadina tomato paste.
    FREBERG: That's right.
    MAN: (NERVOUSLY) Look, have you checked with the Empire State Building people? I mean . . . is it all right with them?
    FREBERG: Wellll, there's always somebody working on the building.... They won't know the difference.
    MAN: Yeah, but that tower was put there to moor zeppelins to.
    FREBERG: Let's face it-how many zeppelins have moored there in the last week?
    MAN: Well . . . not many, but I'm not sure I want to get involved.
    FREBERG: You want us to get another contractor? Is that it?
    MAN: No, but we could be arrested!
    FREBERG: Suppose you let me worry about that, okay? Now, don't forget to have the can blink day and night the words "There are many delicious uses for Contadina Tomato Paste."
    MAN: Wait a minute! I thought you wanted it to blink "Eight Great Tomatoes in That Little Bitty Can"?
    FREBERG: Hmmmmmmmmmmmm.
    MAN: Which do you want?
    FREBERG: Well, let me sleep on it. Okay?
    MAN: Okay.