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St. George and the Dragonet


St. George and the Dragonet

    (From "Stan Freberg's Greatest Hits" album. Transcribed by Eric Hullquist)

    *Dummm da dum dummm.... dummm da-dum dum dummm....*

    Narrator: The legend you are about to hear is true, only the needle should be changed to protect the record.

    *Dummm da dum dummm.... dummm da-dum dum dummm....*

    St. George: This is the countryside, my name is St. George, I'm a knight. Saturday, July 10th, 8:05 p.m. I was working out at the castle out on the night watch when a call came in from the chief: A dragon had been devouring maidens. Homicide. My job: Slay 'em.

    *Dummm da dum dummm.... *

    St. George: You call me chief? 

    Chief: Yes, the dragon again, devouring maidens. The kings daughter may be next. 

    St. George: Mmmhmm...You got a lead? 

    Chief: ...eeh, Nothing much to go on. Say did you take that 45 automatic into the lab to have them check on it? 

    St. George: Yeah, you were right. 

    Chief: I was right? 

    St. George: Yeah, it was a gun

    *Budumm budumm dumm da-dummmm*

    St. George: 8:22 p.m. I talked to one of the maddens who had almost been devoured.

    *knock knock knock* [door opens]

    St. George: Could I talk to you Maam? 

    Madden: who er you? 

    St. George: I'm St. George maam. Homicide maam. I want to ask you a few questions maam. I understand you were almost devoured by the maam is that right dragon? 

    Madden: It was terrible, he breathed fire on me, he burned me already! 

    St. George: How can I be sure of that maam.

    Madden: Believe me, I got it straight from the dragon's mouth!

    *Dummm dummm dum dum da-dummmm!*

    St. George: 11:45 p.m. I rode over to the kings highway, I saw a man, I stopped to talk to him. Pardon me sir, could I talk to you for just a minute sir? 

    Nave: Sure I don't mind. 

    St. George: What do you do for a living?

    Nave: I'm a nave. 

    St. George: Didn't they pick you up on a 903 last year for stealing tarts? 

    Nave: Yeah, so what do you want make a federal case out of it? 

    St. George: No sir. We heard there was a dragon operating in this neighborhood. We just wanted to know if you'd seen him. 

    Nave: Sure I've seen him. 

    St. George: Mmhmm, could you describe him for me? 

    Nave: What's to describe, you see one dragon you've seen 'em all! 

    St. George: Would you try and remember sir, just for the record. We just want to get the facts sir. 

    Nave: Well, he was, you know, he had orange polkadots... 

    St. George: Yes sir. 

    Nave: ...purple feet, breathing fire and smoke, 

    St. George: mmmhmm 

    Nave: ...and one big bloodshot eye, right in the middle of his forehead, and uh, like that. 

    St. George: Notice anything unusual about him? 

    Nave: No, he's just the run of the mill dragon, you know. 

    St. George: Mmhmm, yes sir, you can go now. 

    Nave: Hey, hey! by the way, how you gonna catch him? 

    St. George: I thought you'd never ask. A dragon net.

    *Dummmmmm duuummmm dum dumm dummmmmmmmmm....*

    St. George: 3:05 p.m. I was riding back in to the courtyard to make my report to the lab, then it happened.



    St. George: It was the dragon 

    Dragon: Hey, I'm da fire breden dragon, you must be St. George right?! 

    St. George: Yes sir. 

    Dragon: I see you got one of those new 45 caliber soards 

    St. George: That's about the size of it.

    Dragon: Wuhaaahahayayahaaaagh, you slay me! 

    St. George: That's what I came here to talk to you about. 

    Dragon: Wuh do yuh mean? 

    St. George: I'm take'n you in on a 502, you figure it out. 

    Dragon: What's the charge. 

    St. George: Devouring maddins out of season.


    St. George: Yeah. I hear ya. I got you on a 412 to. 

    Dragon: A 412! WHAT'S A 412!! 

    St. George: Overacting. Let's go.

    *Dumm du-dummm, dum da-dum da-dum*

    Narrator: On September the 5th the dragon was tried and convicted. His fire was put out and his madden devouring license revoked. Maden devouring out of season is punishable by a term of not less than 50 or more than 300 years.

    *Dumm du-dummm, Dummm, Dummm Dummmmmmmm...*