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Take and Indian to Lunch
  Take an Indian to Lunch

    (From the scene "Pilgrims Progress (Take an Indian to Lunch)" transcribed by Mark Pettibone)

    Narrator: Needless to say, the luncheon there under the trees was a great success, and a good time was had by Puritan and Indian alike. Everything came of beautifully with the exception of one minor catastrophe.

    Mayor: What do you mean you cooked the turkey, Charlie?

    Charlie: Well, I cooked the turkey, that's all.

    Mayor: You put our national bird in the oven. Is that correct?

    Charlie: Yeah, well I, uh . . .

    Mayor: And all of us had our mouths set for roast eagle with all the trimmings.

    Charlie: Yeah, well I, uh . . .

    Mayor: You did a thing like that?

    Charlie: Well, the two birds were lying there side by side.

    Mayor: The *turkey* was for the centerpiece, Charlie, I mean . . .

    Charlie: Well, they looked so much alike that I, uh . . .

    Mayor: Well, we blew it now. They're all sitting down at the tables out there.

    Charlie: Yeah, yeah.

    Mayor: . . . starting on their little nut cups already. Just have to switch the birds, that's all.

    Charlie: Yeah, well . . .

    Mayor: Serve them turkey instead of eagle. But it's kinda scrawny-lookin', isn't it?

    Charlie: Yeah, well I thought I'd stuff some old bread in it and make it look a little fatter.

    Mayor: You do that, OK?
    Charlie: OK.