Freberg: Well, it's great to be with you tonight. We have a ...

Tweedly: Pardon me Mr. Freberg, my name is Mr. Tweedly.

Freberg: Well, we all have our problems.

Tweedly: I'm the censor form the Citizens Radio Committee and uh, I feel...

Freberg: You are from the Citizens Radio Committee?

Tweedly: Exactly what I said, yes. And I...

Freberg: And what is your purpose in being here.

Tweedly: I must OK all the material used on your program here, and I think the best method is to just sit back here and interrupt when I feel it's necessary.

Freberg: You mean you plan to stop me every time I do something YOU think is wrong?

Tweedly: Exactly, I'll just sound my little horn like this, <HONK!> and then you stop and I'll tell you what's wrong.

Freberg: Somehow I can tell this is going to be one of those days.

Tweedly: You just go right ahead Mr. Freberg don't mind me.

Freberg: Yeah, Now I'd like to sing... <HONK!>

Tweedly: You forgot to say "Thank You" Mr. Freberg, Politeness is essential in radio programming. Your program goes into the home, we must be a good influence on children.

Freberg: I see uh... that's a nice little horn you have there, thanks very much Mr. Tweedly.

Tweedly: You're welcome I'm sure

Freberg: I'd like to sing a old river song in honor of National Mississippi River Boat Paddle Wheel week Mr. May if you please.

Tweedly: Very Polite Mr. Freberg.

Freberg: Old Man Riv <HONK!> All right tweedly, politeness I dig, but what in the world is wrong with "Old Man River"?

Tweedly: The word "old" has a connotation some of the more elderly folks find distasteful. I would suggest you make the substitution please.

Freberg: I suppose you insist?

Tweedly: Precisely.

Freberg: OK, music <HONK>

Tweedly: You forgot to say "Thank you".

Freberg: Thank you, Mr. Tweedly.

Tweedly: You're quite welcome I'm sure.

Freberg: Elderly Man River, that Elderly Man River, he must know somethin' but he don't say nothin <HONK!> All right hold it fellas, Now what Tweedly?

Tweedly: The word "something" you left off the "g".

Freberg: But that's authentic, "somethin', somethin'," that's the way people talk down there.

Tweedly: I'm sorry, the home is a classroom Mr. Freberg.

Freberg: I know you said that.

Tweedly: Keep in mind the tiny tots. And further more, think back. You'll recall you said, "but he don't say nothin", That was in quote. Now really Mr. Freberg, that's a double negative. do you mean "he does say something"?

Freberg: No I just wasn't using my head I guess.

Tweedly: I mean, after all, it should be grammatically correct. keeping in mind the tiny tots, you probably mean "he doesn't say anything".

Freberg: I-I-I I suppose I mean that, I guess, all right fine, you win, OKBilly, music... <HONK!> Thank you! thank you.

Tweedly: You're welcome I'm sure

Freberg: Elderly Man River, that Elderly Man River, he must know something but he doesn't say anything he just keeps rollin', rolling, he just keeps rolling along.

He don't <HONK!> doesn't plant taters, potatoes, he doesn't plant cotton and them, these, those, that plants them are soon forgotten, but Elderly Man River, he just keeps rolling along...

Tweedly: Excellent

Freberg: "You and me,

<HONK>

Freberg: The tiny tots again was it?

Tweedly: Exactly.

Freberg: Sorry about that, here we go.

You and I, we sweat <HONK!> perspire and strain... bodies all achin' and racked with pain...

well, we got by that one

Tote that barge! Lift that bale! You get a little...

Take your finger off the button now, Mr. Tweedly. We know when we're licked.

Well, that concludes "Elderly Man River." Now turning to the sports page here... <HONK> Oh yes, and thank you for being with us Mr. Tweedly.

Tweedly: You're welcome I'm sure.