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(Taken directly from Stan Freberg's
book "It Only Hurts When I Laugh" by Eric Hullquist )
FREBERG: Now look, you got it straight
what we want you to do?
MAN: I think so, uhh, you want me to
take down the tower from on top of the Empire State Building here
and put up a three-hundred-foot can of Contadina tomato paste.
FREBERG: That's right.
MAN: (NERVOUSLY) Look, have you checked
with the Empire State Building people? I mean . . . is it all right
with them?
FREBERG: Wellll, there's always somebody
working on the building.... They won't know the difference.
MAN: Yeah, but that tower was put there
to moor zeppelins to.
FREBERG: Let's face it-how many zeppelins
have moored there in the last week?
MAN: Well . . . not many, but I'm not
sure I want to get involved.
FREBERG: You want us to get another contractor?
Is that it?
MAN: No, but we could be arrested!
FREBERG: Suppose you let me worry about
that, okay? Now, don't forget to have the can blink day and night
the words "There are many delicious uses for Contadina Tomato Paste."
MAN: Wait a minute! I thought you wanted
it to blink "Eight Great Tomatoes in That Little Bitty Can"?
FREBERG: Hmmmmmmmmmmmm.
MAN: Which do you want?
FREBERG: Well, let me sleep on it. Okay?
MAN: Okay.
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