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Omaha!

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    (Excerpts from "Omaha")
     
     

    MUSIC:  TIMPANI ROLL
    BIFF:  (SHOUTING)  Say!  What city makes over three hundred collections of daily mail from over six hundred street collection boxes?
    CHORUS: (SHOUTING) Omaha!
    BIFF:  And if you wanted to hit America smack in the bread basket... where would you hit her?
    CHORUS: Omaha!
    BIFF:  And what is Omaha spelled backwards?
    CHORUS:  Ahamo!
    MUSIC:  OVERTURE HITS.

     The exuberant musical played out with dialogue and song.  Every time someone asked what was so special about Omaha and someone else would attempt to tell them it was where a certain coffee was made, the singers would burst into song without mentioning the product.  The most ridiculous song was "Omaha Moon"

    MAN:  Would you try not to burst into song every time I ask you a question?
    BIFF:  Sorry.
    MAN:  Why are you singing about Omaha anyhow?  What's so hot  about Omaha?
    BIFF:  Because Omaha is the home of delicious...
    JULIE: Biff!  oh, Biff!  Isn't it a lovely moon tonight?
    BIFF:  yes, Julie.  Back here we call that an Omaha moon!
    MAN:  (ANTICIPATING A SONG) Ohhhh, no!
    MUSIC:  LOUD BELL NOTE
    BIFF:  O-maha moon,
    Keep shining
    On, Omaha keep shining down.
    We'd like it if you
    Wouldn't shine on Council Bluffs,
    Or for that matter
    Any other town.
    Omaha moon, we
    Heard that
    You shined on Cedar
    Rapids last June.
    We'll thank you
    To remember 
    That you are a 
    One-town moon.
    Don't forget,
    Your name is 
    Omaha Moooon!"
     
     

    Above Script taken directly from "It Only Hurts When I Laugh" page 140-141
     

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