MUSIC: SOAP OPERA THEME
ANNOUNCER: Clark Smathers, Kaiser aluminum foil salesman, faces life. As we join Clark Smathers, veteran, daddy, organizer of Little League teams, it's been another in a series of not-too successful days with the grocers in his territory.
SOUND: DOOR OPENING
CLARK: I'm Home!
WIFE: Hellow, Clark! How did it go with the grocers in your territory?
CLARK: (SIGH) It was another in a series of not-too-successful days.
WIFE: You mean they still haven't agreed to stock Kaiser foil?
CLARK: No... not to any appreciable extent.
WIFE: (SOB) Then this means I won't be able to have my operation!
CLARK: Please, let's not discuss it in fron of the child.
CHILD: (IN A SMALL WISTFUL VOICE) Did you bring me some new shoesies, Daddy?
CLARK: Ummm... Daddy doesn't have any money for shoesies these days... because the mean old grocers won't stock Daddy's foil.
CHILD: But haven't the animated commercials on Maverick forced distribution to any appreciable extent?
CLARK: Not yet, honey. These things take time.
CHILD: But my feet... they're so cold!
CLARK: Wait! Watch this.
SOUND: FOIL CRINCLING
CLARK: There you go. You'll have the shiniest feet on the block.
CHILD: Whoever heard of making shoesies out of Kaiser fiol?
ANNOUNCER: There are many uses for Kaiser aluminum foil.
Above Script taken directly from "It Only Hurts When I Laugh" page 158-159