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Kaiser Aluminum Foil

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    MUSIC:  SOAP OPERA THEME
    ANNOUNCER:  Clark Smathers, Kaiser aluminum foil salesman, faces life.  As we join Clark Smathers, veteran, daddy, organizer of Little League teams, it's been another in a series of not-too successful days with the grocers in his territory.
    SOUND:  DOOR OPENING
    CLARK:  I'm Home!
    WIFE:  Hellow, Clark!  How did it go with the grocers in your territory?
    CLARK:  (SIGH) It was another in a series of not-too-successful days.
    WIFE:  You mean they still haven't agreed to stock Kaiser foil?
    CLARK:  No... not to any appreciable extent.
    WIFE: (SOB)  Then this means I won't be able to have my operation!
    CLARK:  Please, let's not discuss it in fron of the child.
    CHILD:  (IN A SMALL WISTFUL VOICE) Did you bring me some new shoesies, Daddy?
    CLARK: Ummm... Daddy doesn't have any money for shoesies these days... because the mean old grocers won't stock Daddy's foil.
    CHILD:  But haven't the animated commercials on Maverick forced distribution to any appreciable extent?
    CLARK:  Not yet, honey.  These things take time.
    CHILD:  But my feet... they're so cold!
    CLARK:  Wait!  Watch this.
    SOUND:  FOIL CRINCLING
    CLARK:  There you go.  You'll have the shiniest feet on the block.
    CHILD:  Whoever heard of making shoesies out of Kaiser fiol?
    MUSIC: UNDER
    ANNOUNCER:  There are many uses for Kaiser aluminum foil.
     

    Above Script taken directly from "It Only Hurts When I Laugh" page 158-159

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