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    A Commercial writen into "Frebergland"

    "Meanwhile, Robinson was leafing through my pages.  "You couldn't get away with this shooting gallery thing in a million years!" he admonished me.
     He was referring to a part in the show where I walk up to a shooting gallery in limbo.  (The whole show takes place in a kind of white limbo.)  This is right after the animated tiles and the first time the audience sees me.  I peer into the shooting gallery, and we now see that instead of rows of ducks, television sets are moving along as targets, one after the other.  Out of each set comes a hard-sell commercial.  The man in sleeve garters behind the counter hands me a rifle.  As I take aim, we cut in close to see each commercial moving along before I shoot out the picture tubes one after another.

      ANNOUNCER (FIRST TV SET):  When headache strikes you need fast fast fast relief!
      BANG! CRASH!

      ANNOUNCER (SECOND TV SET):  Stomach acid burned a hole right through this handkerchief. See?
      BANG! CRASH!

      WOMAN (THIRD TV SET):  I tried everything from my constipation...
      BANG! CRASH!

      ANNOUNCER (FOURTH TV SET):  Proff! Clinical proof that a fluoride toothpast like this, when applied in a conscientious program of dental hygiene...
      BANG! CRASH!

      ANNOUNCER (FIFTH TV SET):  (TALKING OVER A SHOT OF A DIGESTIVE TRACT) ...Sluggishy, upset.  In your digestive tract, your golden liver bile...
      BANG! CRASH!

      FREBERG:  (TURNING AND SPEAKING INTO THE CAMERA) Good evening, I'm Stan Freberg."


    Taken directly from the book "It Only Hurts When I Laugh" page 127

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The Stan Freberg Page